Discipline and laughter and Facebook

Chloe has been dumping her plate on the table, floor, herself, whatever for a while now. She only likes the food to be on the table or highchair tray. How do I correct something like this? When I tell her no, no, she just smiles and says hi. I take the plate away and she bursts into tears. When I give it back, she says datu (thank you).

Come to think of it, she smiles or laughs when I tell her no on just about anything. She usually listens pretty well, but there are sometimes she chooses to be stubborn.

I will not spank her. I'm against corporal punishment, so I'm trying to think of the principles in Love and Logic. If anyone has any input, it would be appreciated.

I've recently joined Facebook because a friend of mine said she was going to put pics of Chloe on her page and I wanted to see which ones she used. I started messing around and searching for people I have known over the years. It is so interesting. I found friends from junior high and high school, and places I use to work. It's fun to see how people have changed (or not) over the years. It's fun to see if someone will "be your friend" or not (still waiting to hear from a couple of people - fingers crossed :). It's a really great way to keep up with people.

George Carlin on Age

George Carlin on age. (Absolutely Brilliant)

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions. 'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!'You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. 'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16!

And then the greatest day of your life .. . You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony YOU BECOME 21 YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed? You BECOME 21, you TURN 30,

then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away.

Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would! So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40,REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30 ; you REACH bedtime.

And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.'Then a strange thing happens.

If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!' May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them.'

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop' And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER :
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,but by the moments that take our breath away.

And if you don't send this to at least 8 people - who cares? But do share this with someone. We all need to live life to its fullest each day!!

Opportunities

Isn't it funny how changes happen in the summer? I guess they happen all the time, but it seems like more pop up in the summer. In the past during summer, I've changed jobs, had a miscarriage, separated and divorced, bought a house, sold a house, a friend's husband passed away, and my father passed away. And recently a friend got engaged and bought a home. Next summer I hope to be returning to Ethiopia to adopt my son. See? Changes.

I have a job interview in Illinois. It sounds like a wonderful opportunity. The principal I've been talking to keeps calling it a dream job. I love working with kids with autism and this would let me do that. If I get the job, I would have to sell my house here (and we all know how bad the market is right now). The weather would be nicer there. There is a large community there of people who have adopted from Ethiopia. As Chloe gets older, I'm finding I need more and more support from people who share my experiences.

I'm also interviewing for a positoin witin my current district, so maybe that is the way to go.

I'm always praying that I follow in God's will for my life and that God shows me how to be the best mom I can be to Chloe. New opportunities have surfaced lately. I'm excited, but not sure if this is what I'm supposed to do. I don't want to move Chloe further away from grandma if its not the right thing to do. This might not even be an issue because I may not even get the job.

I need to nap while she's down. We have Gymboree today and I find that I can't dance and sing with one year olds unless I have a nap. :)

6 month update

It's been a whirlwind of a time having Chloe home. I don't think I got back into the swing of working (at a very demanding school), being a mom and all that entails until April.



Chloe is just a beautiful little girl. She's been walking since she was a year and 2 weeks old. She has 4 teeth. She says thank you, uh oh, doggy, wuff, hi, bye bye, and momma. She mimics everything I do from brushing my hair to putting on lipstick.



Lately I've been very aware of her not having a daddy. A couple of little girls we've met have asked where her daddy is. I want her to have a daddy, and I hope I'm not single for much longer. If it were up to me I wouldn't be. My fear is that this time of not having a daddy negatively affects her in some way.



We were in the book store Saturday and a father was reading a book to his son on the carpet. Chloe proceeds to have a seat on his lap and turn the pages.



Hopefully before I go back to Ethiopia to adopt a little boy to be her brother next year, I will have a better handle on the daddy situation.

I've been collecting stool samples, trying to find time to sleep, washing clothes 3 times a day, and playing with my new little girl.

The babies have runny, yellow diapers because of the formula the orphanage uses - it must be really close to breast milk. The international doctor I took her to put her on Similac soy formula and that has helped tremendously. In Ethiopia, I was having to bathe her every time she had a dirty diaper because it would be everywhere!

Her hair is still a mystery. Not quite sure how to care for it yet. Need to do some reading.

Sleep is elusive. Sometimes I feel great after 3 hours sleep, other times I feel like I'm going to crash any minute.

She is sleeping better. Napping in the day, and sleeping longer at night. She only wakes once an hour now.

Car rides, trips to the store, and walks in the stroller around the block wear her out.

The guesthouse was a little noisy for my taste. A singer from the nearby Mosque sings at different times each day on the loud speaker. They are doing construction on at least 3 nearby buildings, the floors are wood and sound echoes and carries everywhere.
When there is a Manchester (England) soccer game, its also broadcast play by play via loud speaker. So just picture the Mosque priest and the soccer game announcer trying to be louder than the other. :)

The staff is super nice and will do anything to help, and have. :) Having to stay in a room with a not so quiet infant (so she didn't disturb the neighbors) really was wearing on me. I was looking to leave earlier.

Chloe is an angel. Laughs all the time unless she is tired or hungry.

My favorite night time or nap time CD is Sing Me to Sleep, Mommy. It has beautiful Christian songs. It also helps me remember (as if I needed a reminder) how precious Chloe is and how very blessed I am.

Today is the day!!!!!!!!

I leave today to go get my little girl!!!!!!! God is sooooooo good. He has blessed me abundantly. I'm so excited, nervous, nauseous, and scared (in a good way).

My number one fear is that I will take her and she will be sad looking back at the caregivers, the orphanage - the only life she has ever known. I never want to be the cause of her sadness.

I overpacked I'm sure, but I've never been to Africa before. Her clothes take up almost both suitcases!

I have so many wonderful people who have supported me through this crazy process. I know that God has blessed me with great family and friends. I want Chloe to be surrounded by love always.

I also know they all want to see her, but the more I read on attachment, the more I realize how important it is to safeguard her for a few weeks before exposing her to a lot of people.

I will post pics when we return. Stay tuned...

Passed court today!

My October 1st court date was postponed until today. We passed! A wonderful friend of mine did not pass today. I'm very sad for her and her little girl. I'm hoping and praying her case gets sorted out soon.

I'm planning on going to get my little girl the first week of December.

No court news yet.

Yesterday was my court date but due to circumstances beyond my control, it has been postponed. For how long? I have no idea. It's getting harder and harder to stay patient. God is teaching me a lesson through all this. Now if I could just figure out what it is....

Feeling my age...

As I crawl around the floor at school with my students, and sit for several minutes at a time "criss-cross applesauce," I can't help but feel older or maybe just out of shape. I'm beginning to wonder what I'm going to do when Chloe comes home and I'm spending major amounts of time on the floor.

I've started exercising again and eating better hoping that will help. I am almost 40 (in December), and I don't want to watch her play...I want to play with her. Maybe yoga would help. :)

My court date is two weeks from today!! Think positive thoughts and say a prayer that we pass on the first try.

Pictures

Recently, I've seen pics of my little girl with a new hair do at the orphanage. Her hair is getting long enough to put in pig tails. She is adorable. Knowing that I will see her in less than 2 months and that my entire world will change in less than 2 months gives me lots of nervous energy.

I don't enjoy my job anymore. Don't get me wrong - I still love working with children. What I can do without is all the bureaucracy and office politics of teaching where I am. It seems the more affluent the nieghborhood, the more politics you have to deal with.

I'm definitely moving in the spring of next year, but I just don't know where yet. I want my daughter to live in a supportive, diverse community with other adopted children. I'm looking into Michigan, Minneapolis, Indiana, and Illinois at this point. Cost of living, educational opportunities, diversity, and job growth are some key factors. Please weigh in with your thoughts if you feel like sharing.

Have you heard that song by Daughtry "What about Now?" It is so inspiring. I want to be able to make a difference no matter where I live. I want to inspire my daughter to want to make a difference. Do you feel like you are making a difference?

Do you know anyone like this?

Let me start by saying I like everyone, usually. I never meet a stranger, just ask any of my friends. Well, I have met my achilles heel.

It is a certain TYPE of person that I just can't stand to be around for long periods of time....the know-it-all. In my 39 years I have met two people in the past 4 years that I cannot tolerate for more than a few minutes at a time. One actually does know it all, and the other likes to think she does. Now, I realize that being in the teaching profession the fact that I've only met two people like this in the past few years is remarkable. (Fellow teachers, you know what I'm saying.)

Why can't I like them? They haven't ever really done anything but be nice to me. Is it that I want to be the know-it-all? Do they make me feel insecure for some reason? It really bothers me that I'm having trouble getting past this. I want to be the best example I can be for my daughter, but this type of person is like my cryptonite.

My best friend, Missy, says it is just that they are annoying people. What a good friend, huh? :)

They way I resolve the issue is by avoiding them. They have no idea I don't like them, which is best, I guess. I usually tell people when they are bothering me. (I have tried to be honest about how I feel ever since my divorce.) I have told the one who does know it all I didn't like her attitude before, but I don't work with her anymore (thank God) and the other I never see these days.

Maybe I don't have to tolerate everyone. I'm cordial and courteous to all, but when I meet this type of person, I want to head in the other direction.

Do you know anyone like this?

My first experience with ignorance.

Well, not my VERY first, but my first related to my child.

I was giving some teacher friends an update on my adoption process, when one of them says,
"So your baby is going to be black?"

Another says, "People will think you are married to a black man."

Yet another says, "Why? Its not like you are adopting from Africa."

I say, "Ethiopia is PART of Africa. What's wrong with being married to a black man?"

~Silence ~ I guess the conversation was over.

Sitting here waiting.

Well, at this point I'm pretty much just waiting and praying for October 1st - my court date. School starts back in a couple of weeks, so time should go pretty quickly once that happens. I pray every day that Chloe is healthy and loved every moment of every day. I pray for God to lead and guide me to be the best mommy I can be for her.

I saw pictures!!!!!!!!

Thanks to Grace at my adoption agency, I received pictures of my beautiful baby girl, Chloe this week. She is an angel! (both Grace and Chloe) I can't wait to hold her and cover her with kisses! (only Chloe) :)

Her name will be Chloe Amara Coker. Chloe means "blooming" and Amara is Amharic for "eternal." Coker means "one who works with chickens," but we don't have to mention that part. :)

I was hoping to make the rainy season cut-off, but my court date is October 1st. God willing I will pass on the first try. I'm planning to travel to Ethiopia on November 1st and return the 8th.

Only 4 months to pack!

I have a referral, I think!

Well the referral moment wasn't as grand as I imagined it. I was asked if I would like a two month old baby girl. Duh!?!? Yes, please.

That referral didn't work out. Her birth mom wanted to keep her. May God bless them.

The same email contained information about another two month old, who I will call Chloe since I have not made up my mind on her name yet.

I should get filed for a court date Monday or Tuesday. I can't wait to get a picture!

To buy organic or not to buy organic? That is the question.

In my continuing effort to buy products that are less harmful to the environment, I went to check out different things at Whole Foods today. The NICEST salesperson, Ellen, assisted me with organic baby lotion, shampoo, sunscreen, skin care products. You would have thought she was paid by commission, she was that attentive and nice, but nope....not paid by commission.

She told me to bring my little one as soon as I can so she can give her a welcome to America hug. People are amazing!

Back to the topic. I can TOTALLY understand why people are hesitant to go organic or more earth friendly. It takes effort and, at this point in time, its more costly. When more manufacturers get earth friendly products out, the prices will be more reasonable.

Its like with anything else worthwhile....it takes effort and sacrifice on our part to do the right thing. Gosh! I wish I had this attitude when I was married. :)

Up and Running

My blog is finally up and running. Not sure how often I'll post, but I'm off to a good start. I found out yesterday that my coworkers at my school are hosting a baby shower for me later this month. I'm thrilled, touched, and honored all at the same time. What sweet, generous people!